WTH happened to my life👀

Have you ever wondered WTH happened to my life??? I worked my a** of since I was 14 yrs
old and now here i sit unable to work asking for government assistance, setting up donation sites for our family and applying for disability. I’ve even been called a begger! Begger please!!!! I hope and PRRRAAYYY that this never happens to someone else or to their children….I’ve lost so much over this…my credit, my dignity, my self esteem,my best friend and I’m tired of losing I’M NOT A LOSER!!! This is what my life has become. In sobriety I’ve come to rely highly on GOD but right now my faith is wavering. Don’t get me wrong I love GOD and believe in him but today I feel like GOD WHERE ARE YOU NOW??? I know I know I’ve heard it a thousand times and even tell myself “god has a plan and it will come in his time”  but I still am losing the faith. Why did this snake have to bite me , thank god it wasn’t one of my Children, but why our family? Why our yard? Why now? With all the if’s I feel like I’m going to go crazy…the what if’s are no better. What if I didn’t smoke…I never would have gone out on the back porch hence I wouldn’t have been bit. What if I never moved to FL.  What if I was wearing tennis shoes? What if i would have looks down before stepping out? I could go on and on. Now I’m completely unable to do anything…cook dinner..nope, do the laundry…nope, take a walk nope….I have to rely fully on my husband who I know is on his last leg…no punt intended lol…he’s the best father and husband I could ask for but hr can’t do it ALL. I just want the next surgery so I can get back to MY life. I need help getting my faith back because without it I’m bound to pick up that drink and be the a**hole I once was. Prayers I need prayers and I need to pray and seek HIM…there has got to be a reason for all of this but what is it? …..when I find out I will sure let you know.


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9 thoughts on “WTH happened to my life👀

  1. Thanks for visiting my page! I wanted to offer encouragement. Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I know sometimes in life it seems that God has forgotten us, but that’s when you’ll visit Him more. We have to shut our feelings and thoughts of doubt out, look past our natural emotions and focus on God literally being in the room. He promises us that He’ll never leave us, and the more we reminds ourselves of these promises, the easier it is to diminish that feeling of forsakenness.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, a couple months ago I had a time of feeling alone but I had to remind myself of the verse of God tearing the veil in two. What once was a restricted area, suddenly was available. Hang in there, because He’s right there with you.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes God has to allow something drastic to get our attention. My wife recently had major back surgery, from which she’s still recovering, and then in February she’s scheduled to have surgery to remove an egg-sized tumor from her brain. It’s supposedly benign, but it’s been growing slowly for the past 12 or more years, and it could soon impinge on her speech and memory centers. The prospect of such surgery is calling for a LOT of faith! And this is happening to people who have been independent self-supporting missionaries since 1981! God doesn’t pick on us, but he allows whatever is necessary to do the “internal remodeling” we need. I trust my words will be a comfort and encouragement to you, and I will pray for you as I read yours.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I will keep you,your wife and family on my prayer list. I have a friend that had the same thing in her brain but it was cancer . they had to leave part of the tumor because it was so far into her brain and removal of that part would likely have left her a vegetable. She does have other health issues but to give you hope she does fine with day to day living just has memory issues from the tumor. I know I go on and in so Anyway my point is I’m sure your wife will come out just fine. As for her back I’ve herd that the pain and recovery from that is no walk in the park , I really feel for her. Again I will keep you all in my prayers and thank you for the encouraging words. Happy holidays to you and yours.~patti

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I went through an emotional rollercoaster for over a year. I know now that God never left me, even when I couldnt feel his presence. Satan wants you to give up. I say hold on to God with every thing you have. One day the dark clouds will pass and you can see more clearly what God wants you to see. Dont lose Faith or hope. Remember God is our faith, hope our salvation.

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