I No longer wish…I will


Good morning ummmmm afternoon!
The past few days I have received a lot of phone calls and messages from friends along with great conversations and pick me ups from my friends in the rooms, and I woke up today saying I will NOT let this beat me. Though I am tired and the pain is slowly getting worse I have decided that I will TRY to be more positive about the whole situation afterall the mind plays a huge part in healing and I have 3 children and a husband that I have to fight for . I cannot let the depression and anxiety of it all take over my life as I have been. I have to take away my will and follow the drs every order instead of being a 5 year old and causing a tantrum because ” I don’t WANT take my meds cause they aren’t working” the truth is if they take my pain from a 15 of 10 to a 13 of ten they are working. The Dr moved my next appointment up to Monday due to the new symptoms. I’m now getting nerve pain in my foot when I touch any part of my leg (even the thigh). Which is likely a good sign but I would love to get through this Christmas with as much of my full body as possible. I HAVE TO BELIEVE in my mind that GOD will make that happen. My spent my car payment on my kids so they would have some sort of CHRISTMAS and I have to believe that GOD will see me through somehow. Our mind is a powerful thing and I think I need to fake it till I make it…until my mind starts to believe the possibilities. I know that there are people out there who have lost children, are In wheelchairs for life, that are fighting a battle for their life for me that is what I need to think about and pray for, for I may only loose a leg or a foot so fricking what Patti! (I tell myself) this is you’re life deal with it and pick your self up and quit being such a baby! I feel so alone but the truth is I have a lot of physical help and emotional help if I just allow myself to accept it! Financially there are people out there with no where to lay their head or get a meal or have been disowned by everyone… I have all 3 in my grasp but still think poor me ” you don’t have to deal with what I’m going through so how would YOU know how bad it is”!! again the TRUTH is I have no idea what most people are going through or what they have gone through and what may be something easy for me to handle may like the world is crashing in on them for someone else!! What right do I have to KNOW what you may or may not handle or how you would be in my situation. Time for me to fight!!!! Thank you for all the support from everyone and as you can see it is helping! I have no problem with harsh ” get it together Patti” comments sometimes I need that though it may hurt at first after a while it sinks in. This must be true or I wouldn’t be feeling like I am today. Everyone knows how I feel I don’t have to keep telling the same people over and over. Please continue to help share my blog and donation site and Fb site. I have no problem anyone and everyone sharing any of these sites via FB or otherwise. Remember its truly  greatly appreciated.. Until the next time my friends…GOD BLESS.
DONATION SITE:https://www.crowdrise.com/payitforwardforpatti/fundraiser/pattiyoung

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2 thoughts on “I No longer wish…I will

  1. When doctors asked my wife about her pain level (from her scoliosis/pinched nerves) “on a scale of 1 to 10,” She replied to one doctor (the one who referred her to surgery), “11.” Then, at one point AFTER her surgery, when the surgeon asked the same question she said, “12.” Now, her pain is rarely more than 1 or 2, and she is close to normal mobility, even though she has another month with the orthopedic corset. It has been a big comfort to her to remember that EVERYTHING on this earth is temporary, with the sole exception of the relationship we forge with God.

    Liked by 1 person

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